I used to be the one who said, “I don’t mind.”
”I’m Asian and I don’t mind”
"I’m a woman and I don’t mind"
"I’m queer and I don’t mind"
- So why don’t the rest of you just lighten the fuck up.
In fact, I’m Asian and I think it’s funny.
It’s just a joke.
You say it because there is a place inside of you that hurts and it shouldn’t.
You think it’s weak. You think, who the fuck cares?
Maybe you say it because you’ve heard it so many times that you’ve become desensitized to hurt, and you accept it as normal.
Or maybe you say it because you’ve made yourself blind to injustices so you never hurt at all.
I laughed. I laughed at the jokes and the stereotypes. I laughed because I made myself laugh, and the sound of it covered up my discomfort, and my shame.
When you laugh enough, laughing becomes second nature.
Not caring becomes second nature. And then, you eye everyone who does care with disdain. They have no sense of humor. They’re too sensitive. You’re better than them. They make the rest of us look bad.
They’re being a bad minority.
They’re so annoying. They’re the reason why people hate feminists.
What I actually meant when I said “I don’t mind” is:
Please accept me
Please think I’m special
Please make me one of you
And what they heard when I said “I don’t mind” is that it’s okay.
It’s okay to laugh at someone for being Asian - my mother, father, my grandparents; my cousins, my aunts, my uncles.
It’s okay to laugh at women - my mother, my sisters, my friends
It’s okay to laugh at queers - my friends, my lovers
Because they’re friends with a PoC, you see, so they can’t actually be racist, especially if their friend is okay with it.
I said it was okay. So it must be.
Everyone else is just oversensitive. Everyone else is just uptight.
What they heard when I said “I don’t mind” is that if you mind, you don’t matter. Your experiences don’t matter. Because they have this friend who said it was okay.
What I meant when I said “I don’t mind”:
I want to laugh with you; I don’t want to be laughed at.
And what I didn’t know was that just because I didn’t mind, it didn’t make me special. When you laughed at those people, that included me, too.
And what they don’t tell you when you say “I don’t mind,” is that from that moment on, you will be championed as a representative of an entire race/gender/orientation/identity. And your words of “I don’t mind,” or “I think it’s funny” will be used as an example, to put down countless others of other races/genders/orientations.
To say “I don’t mind” is not what makes you strong. It takes far more strength to care, and address the issues. It takes courage to look unpopular, to look “humorless” or to be a “bad minority.”
We should mind. It does matter. If more people minded, instead of feeling like they didn’t have to, then maybe people would start seeing that there is a very real problem.
fei fei sun in “a matter of lenght” by willy vanderperre for vogue china september 2014.
had to shut a bitch down today
And that’s how public shootings and school shootings and shit like that happen. I’m not saying that this dude is not creepy as fuck, but this is not the way to handle this! He didn’t say anything mean (on purpose), and when you shut him down like that how the fuck do you think he’s going to react? He must know he’s somewhat creepy, but when a complete stranger that he adores tells him so vividly how creepy he is, that must wreck his world. I’m just saying I wouldn’t be surprised if he bought a gun (legally, but that’s a different issue) and went in to the store he knows you fucking work at. Just be nice to people fuck.
Alright, you know what? I don’t want to reblog this post. I want this post to die. And I have never once reblogged to reply to someone else’s comment on this post. But this one? This one I’m fucking gonna, because how. dare. you.
Are you seriously one of those slimy, inhuman grease traps of a human being who blame VICTIMS OF SHOOTINGS FOR THE FUCKING SHOOTINGS
Don’t you EVER come at me and try to tell me that I need to be responsible, personally responsible, for the mental satisfaction of the kind of monsters who would do something like that. Don’t you ever tell me I have to let myself be uncomfortable around people who LITERALLY STALK ME and put on a big smile and let them down gently because in your twisted little brain it is MY JOB TO KEEP THEM FROM KILLING PEOPLE
H O W F U C K I N G D A R E Y O U
YOU are the problem. YOU are the kind of person who justifies that kind of senseless violence by saying WELL IF SHE HAD JUST GIVEN HIM A CHANCE
IF SHE HAD JUST FUCKED HIM
IF HE HAD JUST ‘GOTTEN SOME’
HE WOULDN’T HAVE RAPED HER/SHOT THEM/DONE IT
Are you fucking proud of that? Are you proud that that’s the tiny drop you choose to drop into society’s bucket?
I don’t care if it ‘wrecked his world’ when he was called out on his socially unacceptable, disgusting behavior. I don’t caaaaaaaare
His actions are HIS actions. His actions are HIS fault
the next time I see a tragedy like the elliot rodger shooting on the news, I’m gonna think of all the vile comments from people online that say it all could have been avoided if the people he threatened and menaced would just relinquish their bodies and their comfort and their personal space for him, and I’m gonna s e e y o u r f a c e and I hope you fucking know it.
Don’t you ever talk to me. I am sick to my stomach over your fucking bullshit.
"i love asian girls haha!"
"i love pale skin, shiny hair, skinny waists, big boobs, size 2 dresses, submissive, slightly quiet, cutesy demeanors and women who are influenced by a culture of more traditional gender roles which include female submissiveness and i think all asian girls are like this because all i know about asian girls are from like 2 korean chicks i say hi to and leer at or from the tv shows and porn that i watch to escape my ignorant, lonely pathetic life of mine. ha. ha."
Just your daily reminders:
- Racists are a problem
- White people are not
- Homophobes are a problem
- Straight people are not
- Transphobes are a problem
- Cis people are not
- Sexists are a problem
- Men are not
And most importantly,
- Hating an innocent person solely because of their race, sexuality, or gender makes you a fucking asshole
Just some actual daily reminders:
- All white people do racist things without being aware they are
- All straight people do homophobic things without being aware that they are.
- All Cis people do transphobic things without being aware that they are.
- All men do sexist things without being aware that they are.
- Saying things like ‘some men’, ‘some cis people’ absolves the blame of individuals and only seeks to comfort those with privilege and power.
- When a post says ‘some X’, the X will always assume that they are not because THEY ARE NOT AWARE.
And most importantly,
- It’s called metonymy, when anyone who is oppressed makes an exasperated statement like ‘i hate straight people’, they are substituting straight people for the concept of a system and a culture that teaches, incentives, and legitimizes homophobic acts and normalizes homophobic acts so that straight people constantly do honophobic things without realizing it and that’s really fucking annoying.
And just as important,
- The concept of sjws dehumanizes marginalized people and categorizes them as an ‘angry and emotional’ stereotype and only adds to the oppression of marginalized people under the guise of being ‘fair’, while the only thing you are doing is cushioning privileged people from their own ignorance and privilege.